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My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body..?

Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer.

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so

I said, “My ears, Mommy.” She said “No-Many people are deaf.. But you

keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first

attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her,

“Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”

She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is

not correct because there are many people who are blind..”

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,

Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But

you are getting smarter every year, my young child.”

Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.

My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa.

She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my son..?”

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a

game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me,

“This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in

your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you

was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you

need to learn this important lesson..” She looked down at me as only a

mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “Son, the most

important body part is your shoulder ..”

I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head..?” She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my son. I only hope that you have enough Love and Friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it..”

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish

one-it is sympathetic to the pain of OTHERS..

You are my friend and whenever you want, you may cry on my shoulder . . .

During one of a human relationship seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

The speaker noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”

The apeaker answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind. Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression “the labor of love.”

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can “make” love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling .