During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub”
Okay, here’s your test: (Those with an abnormal tendency will scroll to the bottom to get the answer before even taking this test!)
1. Would you use the spoon?
or
2. Would you use the teacup?
or
3. Would you use the bucket?
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the cup.”
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS : Maria!
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
___________________________________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me! ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.” MILLIE : I is…
TEACHER : No, Millie….. Always say, “I am.” MILLIE : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.” ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn’t punish him?” LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating? SIMON : No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same
as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!; __________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
