These are so stupid that they are funny…
1) I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
2) Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
3) I hope you have a library card because I’m checking you out.
4) Your tag says Made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.
5) Hey lady, those are some nice clothes, can I talk you out of them?
6) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
7) Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb!
8) My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can’t hold it in.
9) Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
10)Want to play Pearl Harbour?….It’s a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
11) If you were a burger at McDonald’s, I’d call you McBeautiful.
12) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?
1. Headaches
Fish
Eat plenty of fish - fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.
2. Hay Fever
Yogurt
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season
3. Strokes
Tea
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea.
4. Insomnia
Honey
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.
5. Asthma
Onions
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes.
6. Arthritis
Fish
Salmon, tuna, mackeral and sardines actually prevent arthritis.
7. Upset Stomach
Bananas, Ginger
Bananas will settle an upset stomach. Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.
8. Bladder Infections
Cranberry Juice
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.
9. Bone Problems
Pineapple
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.
10. PMS
Cornflakes
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.
11. Memory Problems
Oysters
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.
12. Colds
Garlic
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic.
13. Cough
Red Pepper
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper.
14. Breast Cancer
Wheat, Bran, Cabbage
Wheat, bran and cabbage help maintain estrogen at healthy levels.
15. Lung Cancer
Orange & Green Veggies
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.
16. Ulcers
Cabbage
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.
17. Diarrheoa
Apples
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition.
18. Clogged Arteries
Avocados
Monounsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.
19. High Blood Pressure
Olive Oil, Celery
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure, too.
20. Blood Sugar Imbalance
Broccoli, Peanuts
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.
